Wednesday, December 14, 2011

On being selfish

In the past few days, I have been thinking about selfishness.

I admit that I am selfish. I do think about myself all the time and I have a tendency to put myself first. If I want something, I ask for it. If I need something, I find ways to get it. I do things to keep myself happy most of the time. I don't really do things for other people - well, let's put it this way, I do spend time with my friends because it keeps me happy. The fact that it keeps them happy - well, that is a bonus.

I think most people in this planet are selfish - just because they don't admit it does not mean they are not. It is fine being selfish, just be honest about it. Don't pretend to be something you are not. We are all driven, to a certain extent, by this thing called reason. My reasons for living mostly center around myself - thus my selfishness.

This is also why I find it annoying when other people try to tell me how to live, how to spend my time or how to spend my money. Most of these things are disguised in this thing called advice, that they have good intentions, bla bla bla. An unsolicited advice is exactly that - unsolicited. It is my life and I choose to live it the way I want to. Is it that hard to understand?

I have decided a long time ago that I don't care as to how other people live their lives. I don't care how they spend their time or their money. And if they come around asking for help for things that they could have helped themselves to begin with, they get a no from me. Quite frankly, one needs to suffer the consequences from one's action. While I know that I should not be the one who teaches this lesson, I also know that I am too selfish to be inconvenient this way.

I am busy. I say this over and over again. This is not about enforcing the new status symbol (since when is busy a status symbol anyway?). This is about a statement of fact and at the same time, a statement of choice. I pack enough activities in my day because I want to spend my time this way. I don't want to reschedule them for reasons that I deem unimportant - and at times, these unimportant reasons include you.

Let's face it - there are not that many important people in my life. Last I count, there is only one, two, three. The rest, well, they are somewhat important, but not that important. By the way, the three people excludes myself. If they assert that they are important to me, then they are deluding themselves. If I say you are important to me, then that stands. If I don't say it, then it does not stand. I can make you feel that you are important to me at that point in time, and it does not mean that you are important to me all the time.

Why am I writing this? Because this is what it boils down to at the end of the day - I don't have time for everything and everybody. If the people that I spend time with cannot appreciate that I am spending time with them, then I prefer not to spend time with them. If they cannot appreciate that I am busy, that I am an individual with my own life, then they are more selfish than the average selfish person. If they guilt trip me into doing things for them (or if they guilt trip people I love into doing things for them) - then they are emotionally twisted themselves, and definitely rank higher than the rest in the selfishness scale.

I have always maintained that being selfish, to a certain extent, is necessary. It is definitely necessary to me. It keeps me happy. No one else keeps me happy on a regular basis in this life, so I have to take on that responsibility myself. I prefer not to attach my happiness on other people - that is a sure way of permanent disappointment and depression.

Expect a lot from yourself when it comes to your own life, your happiness, your success. Other people are in your life by choice, so never take them for granted. And be nice to them while you can - because you will never know when you are going to need them.

No comments:

Post a Comment