I feel exhausted. I don't have any other way of explaining it, but I am just exhausted. I am pretty sure it is because of my neck and shoulder. Or maybe because I am getting older. And I don't want to get older. I can't imagine getting older, can't imagine losing my health, my freedom, my independence, can't imagine not being able to work, not being able to walk, etc etc etc. Really. The thought itself is enough to depress me.