my take has always been: it is hard and it is meant to be hard. but a lot of people are uncomfortable with this idea. is it still difficult with me? yes it is. and you don't make it difficult, it is the nature of relationships themselves. to make it work, we have to work very hard. i don't mind working hard for it because of you. i hope you feel the same way.
so no, you don't make it difficult, you don't make it more difficult. at times you make it easier - and this is a relative term. once you have experienced something worse, you get to appreciate the good stuff more. get out there and experience life. talk to people, listen to them and get to know them. allow yourself to feel the things that you are scared about. that is one of the many ways you can grow.
i think love is largely a choice - a choice to keep loving these people no matter what happens. a conscious decision to keep on working on and growing the relationship, and to keep on growing as an individual. you choose to put the other person first, and conversely, the other person chooses to put you first. it is a rather strange combination because then who is put first? at times you give, and you must also allow yourself to take. you are not only responsible for your personal growth, you are also working towards assisting the person you love in his/her personal growth.
and by default, growing is painful. there is no painkiller that can take away the pain. and it is ok, because by going through with it, we become better people.