the issue is that i am busy. there is no other explanation around it. i have a lot of things to do, too little time. i also realise that i hardly try new things these days - or actually in the past few years? i was told by a much older individual that the remedy to feeling old is to try new things - to consciously do so, to insist on it, at least every weekend. because when you were a child everything seemed new.
i don't feel old yet - and i know i am getting older by the second. i also think it is obvious by now that i am having an existential crisis yet again. (i've had a few since i turned a quarter of century.) what stories am i going to tell? what if i don't have a story to tell? what legacy am i going to leave behind? i am pretty sure i have not done remarkable things with my life.
since Steve Job's death, i am more aware of the fact that our time is limited. we can leave this life at any time, somewhat unexpectedly. our mortality has a finite life span. do i live my life as if i'm going to live forever? i am not sure as to what the answer to that would be. and i do know that i take things for granted. like i take it for granted that i am going to be alive tomorrow.
i make a point every single morning to be happy for the rest of the day. happiness - just like love - is a choice. i make a point to be grateful for what i have, and i have a lot of good stuff.