I swear I drank like a glass of red wine last night, plus half glass of excessively sugary cocktail that I could not stomach, plus a few sips of a second glass of red that I abandoned, and today I woke up with a hangover. What's up with that?
I am old. How can anyone possibly wake up with a hangover after like 1 and a half drink?
It is definitely a distant memory now, those days in which I used to party till the wee-hours in the morning, even when there was really no 'party' per say. It was just full on clubbing. Getting drunk, getting high, getting absolutely crazy. Woke up the next day and got ready for another round. And then resume life as per normal as if nothing happened. That was how I used to spend every weekend. It's like for a while I didn't even know how else to spend my weekend because I did not know any other way.
Then I found another way. I started on my doctorate studies in my early twenties and spent a lot of time studying and is usually exhausted by the time it's the weekend. I used to go to church on Sunday - the service started at 12pm and lasted till about... 2pm. Usually post service, there will be a bunch of people who asked me to join them for lunch, which I declined because I wanted to go home and sleep before waking up at 7pm and resumed studying.
As is always the case with Indonesians living abroad, there is always that one annoying person who just had to lecture me on how I should sleep at night and not spend the day sleeping. I wanted to retort back, then I thought some loser like this could never understand the challenge of my life then that is the phd, so I just ignored him. I never liked him anyway. ha!
The good thing about doing a phd when you were so young is that you had plenty of energy to sustain you - of course excessive caffeine consumption also assisted. I honestly cannot imagine those people who have to raise children plus doing a phd. Hats off.
All those days are slowly and surely becoming a distant memory.
One of the worst things in life, I think, is to have this desire to be with someone, and still find yourself single after all the effort that you put in to find that special someone. I am fast approaching my 30s and I am so glad that I have someone who loves me (more than I love him). My theory is that this has got everything to do with this thing called luck, defined as when preparation meets opportunity.
So according to another one of my yet-to-proven-theory, in order to get lucky, one should focus on two things: one is to prepare oneself, i.e. getting ready when that time comes that you are going to meet the special someone and two is to create as many opportunities as possible to increase your chances of meeting the said person.
A lot of people focus on the latter but not so much the former. The former entails learning from your previous relationships, and also from other people's relationships. This admittedly takes a lot of effort, perhaps a lot more than the latter element. Meeting people is easy, getting laid is easy. Making a relationship successful is the hard work that everyone still continuously learn how to do.
The hardest thing is not so much that it takes continuous effort to please your significant other, this is pretty much a given thing (and you do this because it gives you tremendous pleasure and satisfaction despite all the effort). It is more about the fact that there is no right and wrong to do so. Plus the fact that one thing that used to be right once upon a time can be so wrong all of a sudden because, oh well, people change. People changing is a normal phenomenon, really, how else are they meant to grow?
Therefore there is no right or wrong, no rules that you can keep on going back to all the time (well, ok, maybe there is such rules, but the majority of the so-called rules keep changing, depending on the relationship itself). The remedy to this - oh this is so cliche - is firstly communicating, followed by compromising.
The thing that surprises me quite a lot is how someone can be so able in his/her professional capacity and so hopeless at his/her personal relationship. I have somewhat made peace with this by the virtue of "no one is perfect". However, I still believe that there are a lot of similarities between one's professional behaviour and one's behaviour at all other times, and it boils down to this thing called respect. Respect for others and most importantly, respect for yourself.
This entry is going to abruptly end here because it is getting too long. So, to be continued.
Have a nice weekend! Meanwhile, I am still trying to overcome this hangover.