so it's Christmas.
i swear that i do not want to write anything about it other than the fact that to me it is like any other day, except that my office is having an annual close down, which means that instead of going to the office, i am "shoulding" myself to do other things.
oh the things that we "should" ourselves to.
when will people realise that there are some people in this planet who do not have the best of relationship with their families AND have fully made peace with that fact AND are tired of pretending that everything is all right. i mean, really, except for this time of the year, everyone doesn't really care about this, but it is like Christmas and suddenly everyone cares. because there is no better time to be the bigger person. right.
i try to remind myself that these people have my best interest at heart. they really do. so i try to be patient and explain it over and over again. the fact that i am having an adrenaline high is also useful because that means for some weird reason, it is easier not to take things too personally at this state. thankfully, they are supportive and all inferred something along the lines of "don't feel guilty about it" - i don't. i have decided that i am first and foremost responsible to and for myself and my own happiness before i can start thinking about other people.
yeah. i love myself that much.